Racing Into Boyhood!

Josiah, or “Siah” as he calls himself, is now two and a half!  Though if you ask him he’ll say he is four, since that is his favorite number.  With some coaxing he’ll come clean and say he’s two.  I guess we can officially kiss babyhood goodbye and welcome boyhood and all that comes with it.  I know that the first year of life  is supposed to bring about the most change, but surely this phase is a close second.  I can’t believe how much he has grown and developed.  I can have whole conversations with him without even thinking about it and he is physically capable of so many things that I can’t even keep up with it in order to challenge him a little.

Josiah “helped” Jacob put mulch out with his dump truck.  He loved it and still talks about it.  I’m thankful for a husband who takes the time to do tasks with his son for two reasons.  One, I believe it is good for both of them on many levels.  Two, it gets him out of my hair for awhile!

Josiah is excellent (one of his favorite words – so cute to hear!) at puzzles.  So good, in fact, that I’m often surprised.  His new favorite song is “Row, row, row your boat” and he enjoys “Ring Around The Rosie”, too, except he says bad words when it comes to the “ashes, ashes” part, if you know what I mean.  This summer he has taken great delight in experimenting with his swimming skills.  He is still a great eater, though a bit more opinionated at times and pizza is still his favorite food by far.  His newest thing is to ask for a “party” at the end of his meal.  This started one day when I had made him Jello for the first time and told him that I had a surprise for him.  “Surprise” somehow turned into “party” and now that is what he calls Jello.  When I correct him he just calls it “prize” instead.

Josiah is also becoming pretty good with catching, throwing, and kicking balls.  He’s pretty good with his t-ball set, too, but you never know what direction the ball will go!

He seems to know his numbers and colors pretty well, but he picks and chooses when he’s willing to show his skills and he pretty much won’t do it with me for some reason.  I’m not sure about his knowledge of the alphabet yet, mostly because that often involves the song and, again, he’s not fond of singing any song with me except his current favorite.  But, in general, he always seems to know more than he lets on, then one day he just comes out with things you never knew he knew.  I guess he listens after all.  It’s like he’s a teenager.

Speaking of teenagers…he is now in a big boy bed!  Later I’ll post pictures of his whole new room, but here is a sneak peak of him in his horse bed.  He made the transition really well and does not get out without permission, though I have caught him holding onto the sides and jumping.  Bad boy!

Jacob couldn’t resist taking this bed head picture.  This was after he slept in until 10:30 the other day when he was sick.  We knew something was wrong then because he always wakes up between 6:30 and 7:30.  By the way, I think he looks SO much like Jacob as a kid here.

Aside from dirt and stains, we have had our first home damage due to a rambunctious boy – we have a hole in the wall.  He knows he’s not allowed to hit the walls with his toys or run the ride-on toys into them to stop and he’s usually really good about it.  However, we discovered a hole low in the wall that neither of us can account for and it looks mysteriously like it was a result of being a backstop.  I’m sure it is the first of many, though I’m not excusing it.

I’ve had a gigantic bubble wand in the closet for about 2 years and I finally broke it out the other day.  I should have done it much sooner.  So cool!

In the past Josiah has been pretty attached to Jacob and I and has preferred to stay with us.  Even though he’d stayed there on occasion in the past, there was a time period where he didn’t even want to stay behind at Grandma’s to allow us to go on a date, much less spend the night.  Grandma is a softy and didn’t have the heart to make him (though we were willing!).  He loved being there, he just wanted us there, too.  Last month, though, out of the blue he started wanting to go home with Grandma when she left our house and to stay behind when we left hers.  So we took him up on it and he stayed at her house one night and had a blast!  He’s been willing ever since, but finding an opportune time is tough.  Grandma is much more fun than us so I have no doubt it is more fun than being with us!  It is cute to hear him say “bye Mommy, bye Daddy” when we are trying to get him to come home.  He also kicks us out of his room that way at night.

We continue to struggle with Josiah’s GI problems, though we are relieved that it is not to the same miserable intensity.  It seems to fluctuate from one extreme to the other and we just can’t get it under control, despite our best and tiresome efforts.  I’m really looking forward to potty training because I believe he’d do great (mentally and cooperatively), but I’m just not sure his GI tract will allow it.  We’ll see.  The other thing we have been working on is the thumb sucking.  I also wanted to do this sooner, but with the GI stuff, the room change, bed change, and new baby, I’ve put it off and let him have it.  We’ve been working to only allow it in the car and when he sleeps (two times that seem impossible to end at this point) and he’s been doing really well with it except when he’s tired and grumpy, then we compromise. 

  Here they are on the bobcat driving over to our neighbors house to help do some work.  Josiah loves this!  Here he’s saying “bye Mommy” and waving.

The other thing that has become a bit of a struggle is the “terrible twos”.  I can vividly remember having a conversation with Jacob when Josiah turned two that I was worried that he wasn’t learning discipline and things that go along with behavior modification because he was always so well behaved and we very rarely had to punish or correct him.  Well, those days are over!  He is still a very good boy, but whether it is due to his age or having a new baby in the house, he has begun to test his limits – sometimes tirelessly.  Though he obviously loves Elijah, we think there is a direct link there, not to mention the increased stress in our household not only due to the needs of an added family member, but also due to Jacob’s busy season and my return to work.  So, we are now making conscious efforts to counteract that and we’ll see how it goes!

Before Elijah was born I read several things saying that the older child will often revert back to baby-like behavior after they observe the new baby.  Some examples were refusing to feed themselves or no longer using the potty.  This is what Josiah does…he asks to be held like a baby.  It is farely rare and is usually short lived, but it is very sweet while it lasts.  This particular day was after naptime when he got some juice.  He ran and got his blanket, then asked Jacob to hold him and feed him his juice.  He refused to hold the cup himself.  He could also be doing this just because up until about 2 months ago we rocked him in our laps at night while reading a Bible story and drinking milk before bed.  Now we just lay in bed with him, so he may miss that.  Thankfully he’s too active for it to become habit!

A Testimony Of Love

We said goodbye to Deda last weekend.  This post is super long and is full of the many thoughts I’ve had while laying awake at night lately.  Writing is what I do to clear my mind and I thought about not posting it, but I want to remember, so here it is.  I suppose I write this more for myself than anything, but you are welcome into my reflections if you’d like.  There are no pictures, however, since the time was chaotic and emotional and I neglected to take any. 

Friday night was Deda’s viewing.  The first two hours were open casket time for the family.  I was worried about taking Josiah since he seemed to understand what we told him about Deda going to be with Jesus in heaven and no longer being with us.  I didn’t want to confuse him by showing him a body, so we went late and he stayed in the lobby with his daddy at first.  However, after going in I saw that I hardly could even recognize Deda.  He looked so sick, pale, and old.  It made me sad to see, yet content to know that he passed at just the right time.  I knew Josiah wouldn’t recognize who he was so he got to join the family and did well.

The next 3 hours were closed casket and open to all.  It was only supposed to be 2 hours, but it took 3 for everyone that came to get a chance to come in and pay their respects.  I have no idea how many people came, but I’d guestimate 200, including one of our Gainesville friends that didn’t even know Deda.  Deda touched so many lives!  I hope when I’m old I don't just sit home and get older, but instead use that time to be active and be with people.  In fact, Gram and Deda are so loved, that from the time I can remember being at their house growing up, they very frequently had people drop by just to see them.

For the funeral, there were lots of people again and most of them came over to the house afterwards for lunch (there was LOTS of food!) and visiting.  It was a graveside service and was quite hot, but thankfully the cemetery is covered with live oak trees.  There was a time when people were invited to the podium to speak.  Such wonderful things were said – all true.  My cousin by marriage, who is not technically Deda’s granddaughter, spoke of how she and her sister were taken in and loved as though they were granddaughters and how it was Deda and Gram who got them involved in church.  (There is actually a great story there with lots more to it, but this is not the place for it.)  Someone else that I don't even know got up and talked about how she had always rejected God, but was saved just by them taking her in.  She said Deda never pushed her about God, but over time she just grew to want what he had, she told him so and he helped her find it!  She referred to him as “Uncle Bill” though she is not family at all.  The preacher also spoke about how the first time he came to visit Deda they went outside so that Deda could show him his fish “pond” (a pool with fish in it) and with tears in his eyes, Deda got to talking to the preacher about when he first started tithing and how faithful God had been to them in response.  The preacher was laughing saying NO ONE ever broaches that subject with him and especially not as a first conversation!  But that was Deda.  He was so impressed with how God had taken him from nothingness to having more than he needed and he was happy to share the testimony and give God the glory.

My emotions have been all over the place.  Anywhere from being on task to do what needs to be done to being so sad that a big part of my life has ended and that my kids will miss out on him.  But my emotional/sentimental side has caught up with my practical side as time progresses.  This weekend I shed tears as I heard Gram say goodbye to Deda (using that term of endearment)  in his closed casket at the end of the viewing, followed by the firefighter in his dress uniform paying his last respects in a salute, turning on his heels, and marching off.  (I’m sure I used all the wrong terminology to explain that!)  It just seemed so final.  This might sound so morbid, but it saddened me to shut the door on him forever especially since he got so claustrophobic in the end.  And then to put him in the ground…..   At the service the solemness of the uniformed firefighters, bagpipes, and Gram getting his fire helmet and a medal presented to her, followed by family placing roses and seeing the tears of the men in my family was tough.  Gram, being the tough cookie that she is, held it all together.  She is so strong.  She spent Friday night on her feet greeting EVERY guest with such graciousness and was so hospitable Saturday, though I’m sure she will have her private moments of grief in the days, weeks, and months to come.

My brother, his wife and son, Jacob, our boys, and I stayed over at Gram’s both nights.  Again, Gram was so gracious giving up her bedroom so that our families could have nice accommodations while she slept on a mattress on the floor, which she insisted upon.  When we left her Sunday somehow it just seemed so final.  I felt sad leaving her alone, but I know she enjoyed our company.  I asked her what her plans are and she has a long to do list for herself already before she returns to work full time next month.  She had retired, but when she called the post office to tell them of Deda’s passing her boss said he’d love to have her back and that he hadn’t submitted her paperwork yet if she’d like to come back.  I don’t think she even thought about it before eagerly agreeing.  I’m probably the only person with a 75 year old grandmother who does hard work simply because she wants to.

On a different note, when my brother, Caleb, and his family were driving down for the funeral on the interstate, they were rear ended going just below 80 mph!  It is a blessing they are ok.

Also, at least one good thing has already come from the funeral.  A woman who lives in a travel trailer on Gram and Deda’s property until she can get her feet back on the ground after some hard times (yet another soul my grandparents have been gracious to) liked the preacher who did the service and wants to go to church with Gram on Sunday!  Praise God!

When I think of what I will miss of Deda, so many memories flood my mind.  I think of how before he lost the use of his arms he used to pull me to him tightly, give me a big sloppy wet kiss, and tell me how much he loved me with tears in his eyes.  I remember roughhousing with him as kids yet him being gentle enough to fix my hair or pull a splinter from my finger.  There were bonfires, marshmellow and  hot dog roasts and lots of popsicles, though Gram had lots to do with the food part :)  He also put an emphasis on education and put his money where his mouth was to support it (and him being a very intelligent man with a GED).  But most of all, I loved how he loved my husband as one of his own and when my boys were born, he loved them, too.  Then there was my annoyance of him telling me exactly how to do the most basic tasks, but that was Deda and I loved him!  I always wanted him to be proud of me and I think he was.

Growing And Thriving At Five Months

Elijah has hit the five month mark.  I feel like I write these monthly updates all the time.  The months are just flying by!  I can hardly even think of what changes to write about since I feel like he just turned four months old yesterday but after reviewing his 4 month blog post I realize we’ve come a long way.  I’m so glad to have record of his life!

First off, while we are by no means near perfect, his sleeping has dramatically improved.  Last month he was napping well, but consistently woke at the 45 minute mark every time and needed help getting back to sleep.  We have overcome that and he now naps beautifully, often taking two 2-2.5 hour naps and one that is an hour or so.  I’m in heaven!  Night sleep has also improved.  I wish it was better, but I think I’m asking too much of him since I’m so used to my sleepyhead, Josiah.  He goes to bed around 7:30 or 8 pm, usually gets fed one last time before I go to bed, and then wakes around 7 am.  We often struggle to settle into bed at night, but that is getting much better and he doesn’t often wake at night anymore.  Overall, I’m happy with our progress and feeling very well rested, but if you ask me about it at the wrong time I might tell you differently!

As for developmental changes, he is a rolling machine!  He’s quite mobile and it is becoming very difficult to keep him in one “safe” place when we are doing diaper free time so as to not dirty the floor or blanket in case of accidents :)  In addition to the slow creeping I mentioned last month, he now gets up on his knees and forearms for brief periods.  He has also taken a great liking to sitting in his exersaucer.  The first few times he just kept his arms down and slumped over watching while Josiah played with the toys on it.  But now he plays with everything and even bounces!  He’s pretty much graduated out of the bouncy seat.  In fact, he’s not very content to sit back and chill.  Instead he is always doing sit ups to try to be upright.  I keep thinking he won’t be happy in his infant car seat much longer.  In addition, Elijah can sit up briefly if you spread his legs just right and use his arms to prop him up.  He gets very proud of himself then falls over.

  Chowing down on his favorite toy on the exersaucer!

He found his toes last month and much to his delight I showed him this month how to chew them.  They come in handy when he loses his toy!

This is his thinking face.  He’s going to be smart!  (Excuse the 2 bug bites on his head.)

On a not so great note, he has had yet another eye infection.  He has about four more weeks before his next checkup in which the decision will be made to do the surgical procedure to clear that tear duct.  The pressure is on!  It is a simple procedure, I guess, but I’d prefer to spare us all the trouble and spare him the anesthesia and the black eye.  At a quick nurses check at the doctor’s office last week, he was just over 15 pounds, so he is growing beautifully!  Also on the medical front, his reflux seems to be doing well on meds.  I’m going to be brave and attempt to withdraw it soon.  (I tried it since writing that.  Lets just say he’s still on meds!)  He has been off Mylicon for a few weeks now.

Elijah is such a sweet, fun little guy.  He is full of smiles and giggles and we find him to be such a delight to play with.  Simply making eye contact is enough to elicit a smile and a laugh from us brings a giggle from him.   He loves Josiah and Josiah enjoys making him laugh.  The other day they were both breathless with laughter because Josiah kept sticking his finger in Elijah’s belly button.  Then I had Josiah hold up his shirt and I touched Elijah’s hand to Josiah’s belly button.  Too cute!

Josiah loves to hold Elijah, but usually Elijah’s not so sure about it!

Teaching him to wave.

Next month is the big six month mark.  So much will start to change then…the introduction of solids, increased mobility and maybe sitting up.  Who knows, teeth may be on the horizon, but I’m hoping not.  I’d rather stick to only being responsible for brushing mine and Josiah’s for awhile longer.  Afterall, I already have to keep 60 nails trimmed! 

Missing A Great Man

I’ve written a little about my wonderful grandfather, known and loved as “Deda”, and his struggles with ALS.  Well, he passed away Friday morning after some rough weeks/months.  We are so sad to lose who he was, but thankful that God was merciful and took him before he reached the typical end stages of the disease.

It was obvious a few years ago that he was having problems with his arms, but after unsuccessfully treating it as an orthopedic issue, having many, many tests and incorrect diagnostics, and progressively declining all the while, he was finally diagnosed with ALS at the beginning of this year.  The typical life expectancy after diagnosis is usually several years, but usually patients are younger and for some reason he deteriorated rapidly.  He did a great job keeping a positive attitude about his diagnosis and condition, but the end was just such a struggle for both him and his caretakers.  My grandmother, Gram, is an awesome and phenomenally strong, capable woman and did a wonderful job taking care of him.  (I want to be like her one day!)

Deda was moved to a Hospice house Wednesday when he could no longer be taken care of at home and his medications needed to be reevaluated.  I planned a trip down to see him the next day, but opted to delay it so that they could get settled in at Hospice.  As it turns out it would have been my last chance to see him, but apparently it was an awful, painful, incoherent day.  The night before I prayed for Deda during Josiah’s nighttime prayers and afterwards I asked him what he wanted to do the next day.  He said “see Deda” which totally surprised me, made me sad, and made my heart melt.  I guess he listens more than we know.

When I think of Deda, though, ALS is not what comes to mind.  Instead the words “generous'’, “loving”, and “stubborn” come to mind.  He was the most generous person I know (along with Gram, of course), always giving when he saw a need.  This generosity stemmed from his obvious love.  The love I always felt from him seemed to be exactly what I always needed.  I always felt like I was special to him.  And then there were his stubborn tendencies – everything had to be done his way because apparently that is THE ONLY way to do it.  It was enough to drive you crazy!

I will miss him but I’m delighted at the thought of him being with Jesus and enjoying all that heaven has to offer.  I’m hoping there is lots of Blue Bell Ice Cream and Angel Food Cake there and I’m glad he has full function of his arms so he can even feed it to himself!  Maybe his teeth are even real there :)

Here are some pictures of the man himself, in no particular order.  I only have some of more recent years.  I’ll have to hit up some older family members sometime to get some that represent my favorite childhood memories.

With my wonderful grandmother, Gram.

See?  It wasn’t so long ago that he was still a strong, strapping “young” man!

 This sums Deda up nicely.  The man loved food, dessert in particular.  Here he is with a favorite, lemon marangue pie.

 Holding Josiah at 5 weeks old.  You can see he is already struggling a bit with his arms/shoulders.  He never did get to hold Elijah, but I did catch him gazing at him once.  At one family get together Elijah was in a room by himself in his pack n’ play to take a nap.  I heard him beginning to fuss early in his nap and went to check on him.  When I got in there Deda was standing over him (at this point his arms were useless) just staring down at him.  It was so sweet that I couldn’t bring myself to be irritated about the ruined nap.  In that moment Deda softly told me what a great Mom he thought I was.  While it was a fleeting precious moment I couldn’t help but be saddened because I knew what was on his mind – the fact that his remaining time was short.  It was an unspoken understanding.

 Deda had a way of loving people.  Here he is with his ex-daughter-in-law.  Not the relationship you would expect, huh?  There is more to the story, but the jist here is that they (Gram included) are not quick to disown but instead they love despite circumstances.

 Married 59 years!

 This picture was taken during one of our extended family trips to the St. Johns that Gram and Deda made possible.  They thought it was important for us to spend time together, and boy were they right!  We had some great times!

 Gettin’ some Savannah love!

 This represents one of my favorite memories.  This was at a family reunion a few years ago when Deda decided to have a fishing tournament for the kids.  (When we got too old to often swim in the pool, Deda got tired of cleaning it, so he made it a Tilapia pond!)  He divided the kids by age and gave cash prizes for the biggest fish per age group.  In this picture he is doling out the cash to anxious kids.  Too cute!  They did catch lots of big fish!

 Two of my favorite people with one of my favorite boys, Josiah.

I miss you already, Deda.  Thank you for the memories.

Random Thoughts And Experiences

Below are five totally random tidbits in no particular order that didn’t really deserve their own post yet struck me as blog worthy somehow.

1.  Taking two year olds to the movies can be done.  We weren’t so sure before.  Josiah got to experience his first movie in a theater last Saturday.  We took him to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie and he loved it!  I prepared him for it by telling him we’d watch Pooh on a BIG t.v. screen in a room with LOTS of chairs (he loves chairs).  When we walked in he caught a glimpse of the screen in the dark room and he got a bit nervous, but his intrigue was enough to make him settle in quickly.  The movie was only a little over an hour and he spent the first half cuddled in my lap eating peas, cereal, and drinking juice (that makes for a happy boy, which makes for a happy mom!).  He spent the next half in and out of Jacob’s lap and his own seat.  He got a bit bored about 3/4 of the way through, but got back into it and watched the end.  My only recommendation when watching a movie with a 2 year old is to get there late so you miss the commercials and previews so as to limit the time spent in one spot.  Elijah enjoyed the brief bit that he didn’t sleep or nurse through, too!

2.  Thank goodness for….puppy training pee pads!  When Josiah was a baby I did diaper free time on his belly on top of a diaper or something easily washable which meant I had to constantly monitor or do extra laundry.  This time around I got smart and I started putting Elijah on pee pads.  And thank goodness for them!  Yesterday he had a very big BM and though I’ve seen plenty of  baby poop I was impressed by this runny one and very glad for my new method, to say the least.

3.  You never know what perspective someone else is coming from.  My niece, Savannah, recently got a new pair of glasses.  We had noticed that she sometimes positions her one eye funny when looking at things close up.  After a visit to an ophthalmologist it turns out she is legally blind in that eye :(  I don’t know details, but I think it has to do with it being underdeveloped and some of it can be corrected by wearing glasses (or a patch if the glasses don’t work).  Her glasses are super cute!  She loves them and wears them like a champ.

4.  You never know how someone will react, so be careful!  Did you know that when you toot your horn at bicyclists riding in the car lane as you pass by (while moving over to give them plenty of space) just to remind them they should stay in the bike lane, that they will flank either side of your car at the next stoplight, bang on your windows and try to pick a fight?  We learned that they will do just that the other day!  That is Jacob’s pet peeve, and apparently he picked on theirs as well.

5.  Lying is never beneficial to anyone.  The other morning Jacob went outside to feed our dogs and Josiah repetitively asked where Daddy was.  My answer the first several times was to the effect that he was feeding the dogs, then the next several times I told him that he knew where Daddy was.  Finally, I figured I’d give him an unbelievably exciting answer hoping that it would divert his attention and told him that he was out feeding the giraffes.  Well, it sure did divert his attention!  Seeing as how the day before Jacob had shown him the deer in the yard, I guess he didn’t think giraffes were all that farfetched.  We spent the rest of the morning trying to explain why he couldn’t go see the giraffes, too.  I’m glad I have a trip to the zoo planned for this fall!

Housecleaning Tip #1

Shave your shedding cat!

He’s not a very handsome cat to start with, but this didn’t help him any.  He looked pretty goofy at first, but unfortunately I didn’t think to take a picture until he had a few weeks growth.

For about 8 years now I’ve dealt with my long haired cat, Eeyore, and his never-ending shedding.  I finally had enough and shaved him!  It is fabulous!  For some reason, unlike my other long haired cat, Lilah, he just shed horribly all the time causing me to have to vacuum daily.  Now, with a toddler spreading toys around the living room and a baby who sleeps most of the time, it was becoming difficult to find a good opportunity to vacuum, so I found a new solution. 

Of course, when winter comes I’ll have to let him have his hair back, but I’m loving it for now.  Jacob is loving it, too, just because he thinks it is funny.  He really wants to shave Lilah as well just because they always have a friendly feud going on and he thinks she’d be embarrassed :)  Eeyore is also enjoying it.  He’s a scaredy cat so I figured he’d hide under the bed for days afterwards, but no, he was proud of it and seemed to strut his stuff!  Lilah on the other hand hissed and growled at him and refused to eat next to him for days.  She’s over it now.

I wish I had more housecleaning tips for you, but that is not my strong suite and I struggle to keep it as clean as I do!

Are We Alone In The Struggle?

Jacob and I would really like to be able to go to church for both the morning and evening services on Sundays, but it is always so difficult with the boys and their meal and nap needs.  Are we the only ones who struggle with this?

Elijah takes three naps a day, but with going to church twice he only gets one good one and a couple way too short disrupted catnaps.  He has been sleeping well in nursery, but as he ages, this is dwindling.  Josiah only takes one nap a day, but it usually starts around noon or shortly after and lasts 3-4 hours.  With church followed by lunch, he doesn’t get in bed till nearly 2pm and as soon as he wakes up it is time to leave again.  Of course it doesn’t help that it takes a half hour to get there.  Then we get home after bedtime and still have to eat…something.  And just forget it if I have to work the next day and make all of those preparations.

Anyway, by the end of the day everyone is overtired and grumpy and by the time Jacob and I fall into bed we feel like it has been a rough day – every time, no matter how hard we try.  It seems like “so much for a peaceful, restful, worshipful day"!

The obvious solution is to skip the evening service, which we usually do, but we’d really like to get back into the swing of going.  We’ve thought about just watching on the internet, but I know we won’t with kids to take care of and you miss out on the fellowship and the kids getting the experience of physically going to church.  Do any of you have ideas/solutions?  How do you manage?  Or do you bother?  I’d love input.  Maybe I just need to be more organized??? (Story of my life, yet I do try!)