Missing A Great Man

I’ve written a little about my wonderful grandfather, known and loved as “Deda”, and his struggles with ALS.  Well, he passed away Friday morning after some rough weeks/months.  We are so sad to lose who he was, but thankful that God was merciful and took him before he reached the typical end stages of the disease.

It was obvious a few years ago that he was having problems with his arms, but after unsuccessfully treating it as an orthopedic issue, having many, many tests and incorrect diagnostics, and progressively declining all the while, he was finally diagnosed with ALS at the beginning of this year.  The typical life expectancy after diagnosis is usually several years, but usually patients are younger and for some reason he deteriorated rapidly.  He did a great job keeping a positive attitude about his diagnosis and condition, but the end was just such a struggle for both him and his caretakers.  My grandmother, Gram, is an awesome and phenomenally strong, capable woman and did a wonderful job taking care of him.  (I want to be like her one day!)

Deda was moved to a Hospice house Wednesday when he could no longer be taken care of at home and his medications needed to be reevaluated.  I planned a trip down to see him the next day, but opted to delay it so that they could get settled in at Hospice.  As it turns out it would have been my last chance to see him, but apparently it was an awful, painful, incoherent day.  The night before I prayed for Deda during Josiah’s nighttime prayers and afterwards I asked him what he wanted to do the next day.  He said “see Deda” which totally surprised me, made me sad, and made my heart melt.  I guess he listens more than we know.

When I think of Deda, though, ALS is not what comes to mind.  Instead the words “generous'’, “loving”, and “stubborn” come to mind.  He was the most generous person I know (along with Gram, of course), always giving when he saw a need.  This generosity stemmed from his obvious love.  The love I always felt from him seemed to be exactly what I always needed.  I always felt like I was special to him.  And then there were his stubborn tendencies – everything had to be done his way because apparently that is THE ONLY way to do it.  It was enough to drive you crazy!

I will miss him but I’m delighted at the thought of him being with Jesus and enjoying all that heaven has to offer.  I’m hoping there is lots of Blue Bell Ice Cream and Angel Food Cake there and I’m glad he has full function of his arms so he can even feed it to himself!  Maybe his teeth are even real there :)

Here are some pictures of the man himself, in no particular order.  I only have some of more recent years.  I’ll have to hit up some older family members sometime to get some that represent my favorite childhood memories.

With my wonderful grandmother, Gram.

See?  It wasn’t so long ago that he was still a strong, strapping “young” man!

 This sums Deda up nicely.  The man loved food, dessert in particular.  Here he is with a favorite, lemon marangue pie.

 Holding Josiah at 5 weeks old.  You can see he is already struggling a bit with his arms/shoulders.  He never did get to hold Elijah, but I did catch him gazing at him once.  At one family get together Elijah was in a room by himself in his pack n’ play to take a nap.  I heard him beginning to fuss early in his nap and went to check on him.  When I got in there Deda was standing over him (at this point his arms were useless) just staring down at him.  It was so sweet that I couldn’t bring myself to be irritated about the ruined nap.  In that moment Deda softly told me what a great Mom he thought I was.  While it was a fleeting precious moment I couldn’t help but be saddened because I knew what was on his mind – the fact that his remaining time was short.  It was an unspoken understanding.

 Deda had a way of loving people.  Here he is with his ex-daughter-in-law.  Not the relationship you would expect, huh?  There is more to the story, but the jist here is that they (Gram included) are not quick to disown but instead they love despite circumstances.

 Married 59 years!

 This picture was taken during one of our extended family trips to the St. Johns that Gram and Deda made possible.  They thought it was important for us to spend time together, and boy were they right!  We had some great times!

 Gettin’ some Savannah love!

 This represents one of my favorite memories.  This was at a family reunion a few years ago when Deda decided to have a fishing tournament for the kids.  (When we got too old to often swim in the pool, Deda got tired of cleaning it, so he made it a Tilapia pond!)  He divided the kids by age and gave cash prizes for the biggest fish per age group.  In this picture he is doling out the cash to anxious kids.  Too cute!  They did catch lots of big fish!

 Two of my favorite people with one of my favorite boys, Josiah.

I miss you already, Deda.  Thank you for the memories.